26 Lessons I Learned By Age 26

I’m writing this blog on my 26th birthday.

I’m so lucky to be in Niagara Falls with a million of my closest friends, ready to celebrate by watching the total solar eclipse. I seriously can’t believe there’s an eclipse on my birthday! 

(Edit: I’m uploading this blog 2 days after my birthday because the aforementioned eclipse-viewing crowd overwhelmed the internet connection.)

26 feels like such a weird age to be… I’m officially in the latter half of my twenties, I am more adult than I am a child, and yet I am only a day older than yesterday.

Birthdays are always a good time for reflection, so here are 26 lessons I learned in the first 26 years of my life:

1.    Even though I am developing smile lines, joint problems, and the wisdom that comes with aging, I mostly feel just as young as a teenager. I truly can’t believe I’m 10 years older than my 16-year-old self!

2.    There isn’t one correct or best way to live my life. Rather than feel judgment about what I’m doing, I am choosing the path that fulfills me and filtering out the rest of the distractions so I can live for myself first.

3.    Time moves on and people don’t think about me very often… Since moving from New Zealand to the United States in 2013, this has become extremely evident to me, but I’m choosing to let this lesson free me to pursue my dreams unashamed.

4.    Human connection makes life more meaningful. Prioritizing relationships elevates all areas of my life, allowing me to share the best moments and seek support in the worst.

5.    Life changes quickly, so I must always remember to pause and appreciate the people I have around me.

6.    A friend of a friend might become my new best friend, so there’s no need to feel resistance about expanding my social circle.

7.    Hosting dinner parties with my best friends has created some of my favorite recent memories that I will cherish forever!

8.    Getting a full night’s sleep is invaluable. I can’t believe that in my youth (five years ago) I managed to get 98% grades on biochemistry exams after basically 4 all-nighters in a row. 26-year-old Jess is usually in bed by 9.

9.    I feel prettier at age 26 than I did at age 16.

10. Comparison kills. It’s easy to be overwhelmed with what everyone else is doing, especially with social media, but I remind myself that it’s important to live my own life and be grateful for where I am.

11. I realized too late that while I spent years being too scared to chase my dreams, the people who never gave up are living it… So, start that thing NOW. This realization hit me when I discovered BookTok in 2020, and I’m grateful it helped me realign my trajectory toward my childhood-turned-adult dream of becoming an author.

12. It’s normal and healthy to change my mind. I was pre-med in college and now I am unbelievably relieved to not work in healthcare. I’m proud of myself for letting go of a path that no longer served me.

13. I am solely in charge of romanticizing my life and making my dreams come true. I’ve spent too much time marveling over the way other people live rather than living for myself, but that mindset has (hopefully) evolved into something healthier.

14. Implementing more of what brought me joy as a child brings magic into my life. I’ve notice that I feel more like myself when I make time for my childhood hobbies, like reading, writing, dancing, singing, guitar, piano, and crafts, so I’m trying to do more of these activities.

15. Being kind means being kind to myself too, not just others. I should tattoo this on my forehead, I think!

16. Take caution when people are offering advice. Who knows what people’s intentions are?  

17. I feel so much better when I create more than I consume. Starting my blog has brought me so much joy.  

18. The most important values in my life are health and happiness, and I must remind myself of this when I feel myself getting stressed.

19. A fully developed frontal lobe unfortunately comes with anxiety. Surprise! But when this happens, intentional breathing helps a lot.

20. The only person I should strive to impress is my younger self. I think little Jess would be happy with how our life looks now.

21. “How we spend our days, of course, is how we spend our lives.” I heard this quote by Annie Dillard last year and WOW. What a delightful smack in the face!

22. It’s never too late. Yes, I wish I started my blog 10 years ago and kept creative writing all through college, but I know I’ll be glad I started at 25 when I was 35.

23. If I’m willing to give others the benefit of the doubt, I can do the same for myself.

24. Daily reflections through journaling have done wonders for helping me stay grounded in who I am. This is another lost love from my childhood that I’ve reimplemented into my life that brings me so much peace.

25. I get to define my definition of success and living a good life.

26. Time is precious. These are the good old days, and we should treat them as such now, not later.

25 was good to me. I hope 26 is my favorite age yet.